Scorpio Full Moon- May 18—Defining our edges (aka let’s talk boundaries)

It is interesting to observe the patterns of energy that emerge within the moon cycles. The last New Moon in Taurus asked us to harness a sense of peace. This, of course, doesn’t imply an absence of chaos but a practice of finding calm within it.

How do we do that?

Boundaries.

No doubt, you have very likely been on the spot in some way. Life has asked you to step up and offered opportunities requiring decisive assertiveness.

 That won’t work for me.

This is what I need.

The line ends here.

This Full Moon asks us to step deeper into this practice.

Boundaries are indeed a Taurus/Scorpio dance. The most grounded, earthy, and steadfast sign, Taurus is unwavering in its ability to place a necessary line in the sand. Imagine a massive bull standing stoically in a green pasture. Now imagine trying to make it move.

That is Taurus. Those are boundaries.

Scorpio, always opposite Taurus, supports this practice by immersing us so profoundly in truth we cannot look away. To stand for something means we must KNOW our values and who we are. We need the veracity of principle. Candid, blunt, and brutally honest, Scorpio keeps it real while Taurus is loyal and unwavering in its defense.  Done well, this gives us the precise combination required for healthy boundaries.

Done less well though, we find ourselves boundary-less, free-floating reflections of borrowed truth, or so walled up, a fortress of fear and control so barred no light can get in.  Neither is healthy.

Healthy boundaries are sourced from a distinct and grounded sense of self. We radiate our own light.

I am.

Unhealthy boundaries do the opposite.  Minus a grounded sense of self, we borrow the light from others expectations, editing, and shapeshifting accordingly.

I am who you want me to me.  

Boundaries are needed and necessary demarcations that allow us to claim our distinct space in the world and honor our unique expression. Lines allow us to define our particular needs, desires, passions, worthiness, callings, and purposes separate from another. Edges create a sense of sacredness, honor, and reverence. Boundaries are a needed and vital part of living a healthy life. They are a radical act of self-care and a required step to self-love. (How to REALLY love yourself.)

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

― Brené Brown

Why are boundaries so challenging?

Why is it so hard to say no? Or even yes?

Why is it so difficult to stand in our authenticity?

In a psyche where connection is everything, rejection tends to be something we try to avoid. This is especially true in our formative years and sets the stage for later habits.   Acceptance, approval, and acknowledgment are vital ingredients for healthy development. We need to know our being, including our singular desires and wants, can be trusted.  Often though, the opposite happens. We are not celebrated for our uniqueness but instead asked to conform to specific outside expectations. We learn to look outward instead of inward as a habitual practice of defining the self. This reflected sense of self tendency simply continues into our adult lives.

Additionally, as children, we are often told what to eat, when to sleep, who we should be, how to speak, what success looks like, what shape our bodies should take, etc.  I cannot tell you how many clients appear in my office having lived the life they were “supposed to” and are completely confused about who they are, what they want, or what lights them up. I get it because I too have lived that. Until I didn’t.

Borrowed light doesn’t radiate any heat.

Healthy boundary setting requires we know WHAT we want, need, or feel. They demand we have some grounded sense of who we are. That our light shines from the inside out. 

“Your personal boundaries protect the inner core of your identity and your right to choices.” ― Gerard Manley Hopkins

Obviously, the reactions we received from others when we asserted ourselves at an early age also affect how comfortable we are at asserting the self later in life. Many parents see healthy boundaries and assertion as a sign of “disrespect”. Many adults believe the concept of “no” as a power struggle to win, not one to understand and, in fact, support. In these instances, there is typically shame and/or punishment weaved into the concept of boundary setting. Fast forward, and you will find that asserting boundaries in the present is still fraught with shame, self-sabotage, and punishing behavior from long ago. In short, if boundaries were dangerous or painful in the past, we tend to avoid or punish ourselves for having them now. 

See how it works?

Of course, the good news is all of that can be changed. You can heal and learn this vital skill. This Full Moon offers you opportunities to do just that.

Indeed boundaries define where we end and “they” begin elevating the health and respect of all our relationships. Without them, our relationships look co or counter-dependent, passive-aggressive, and overall unhealthy. We can feel drained, exhausted, angry, and resentful. (Which makes sense if we continually give our power away). We teach people what we will and will not accept, which is a direct reflection of how connected and worthy we feel.

“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.”

― Brené Brown

But boundaries are also critical in our relationships with ourselves. Being able to have clear lines in the sand internally are essential steps to self-actualization, purpose, self-love, and overall vitality. We need to be able to shut down anxiety when it peeks in, when the inner critic begins a rant, and when the inner addict, child, victim (pick your part) shows up to the party. 

 No. Not today.

Because boundaries are about saying no, but they are also about stepping into the power of yes. We also need to be able to harness our passion and carve out an uncharted path forward by following the lighthouse of our very being.

What is your relationship with boundaries?

Are there places in your life you need to assert some boundaries?

With others? With yourself?

What stops you?

What if you no longer let it?

That is the lesson of this Full Moon.

Want to know what the current astro weather is asking of you?

Contact me for a reading.