Libra New Moon—10/8-9–Balancing the Scales

Connection is as vital to our psyches as oxygen is to our bodies. We literally NEED it to survive and thrive. When we are young, this connection is our family, specifically our parents and caregivers. This first alliance imprints us with beliefs and experiences we begin to identify as familiar patterns of attachment.

Done well we are given healthy boundaries, assertion, worthiness, safety, and esteem. We learn to give and receive in healthy and robust ways. We have a genuine sense of trust not only in others, but the very world itself.

Done less well we learn to expect less and control more. We learn to hustle, edit, and manipulate by connecting any way we can. Our sense of belonging is etched with tendrils of shame, fear, and even trauma or abuse. We accept dysfunction as normal, our vision clouded with forgery.

And these early patterns travel with us into our future relationships in the form of coping strategies, communication styles, inner chatter, habitual reaction patterns, and partner choices. We often find ourselves in similar relationships with different people.

Same play different players.

Our bosses, partners, colleagues, and family all seem to be shades of the same hue.

From an ego perspective, this can be confusing, frustrating and even validate fearful beliefs and self-criticism.
Yet, from a soul perspective, these patterns arise precisely to get our attention.

They replay so we can challenge and change them.

In truth- If you think you’re enlightened, get into a relationship.

Because you will be quickly reminded of all your exquisite shades of humanness.

This New Moon in Libra highlights the force of connection in our lives and how we navigate the terrain. Libra is ruled by Venus, which has recently gone retrograde in the sign of Scorpio. Venus retrogrades are rarer than most and thus hold a lot of juice. Scorpio, of course, always asks us to play in the shadow a bit, reclaiming some light long since forgotten. Adding to the mix, we have Pluto in Capricorn squaring this New Moon further echoing the theme of shadow dancing.

Venus, the feminine force of love and connection, is waltzing with the truth of depth and discovery revealing the shadow of both.

Collectively we are being asked to address the historical imbalance of masculine and feminine forces in our society (as so obviously reflected in current events). Choice points arise that reveal the shadow dichotomy where we choose control over empathy, greed over altruism, and dominance over sovereignty. Times like this reveal hard truths and imbalance to shift us into the action required for equilibrium.

On a more personal level, we are playing with the same themes.

So, don’t be surprised when relationship shadows emerge.

How we habitually lose or steal power.
How we manipulate or control.
How we project or blame.
How we a fantasize or bypass reality.
It asks us to look deeply and assess if we are grounded in our own truth or reflections of another.

Often Venus retrogrades reveal these truths by stirring our shadowy stew of triggers like conflict, jealousy, inauthenticity, possessiveness, blame, judgment, and co and counter-dependency. There is nothing inherently wrong with these reactive tendencies. After all, they were all forged in the fire of necessity at some point in our lives. It is only when ancient strategies are applied to current situations we have a misalignment.

Retrogrades ask us to go inward before we go outward. To respond, not react. Therefore, as some tension appears in your relationships and as the emotions start to rise, lean in and not away. Get curious about what is really going on. In relationship work, there is something called the 80/20 % rule. What this means is our typical reactions are 20% about the present and 80% rooted in the past.

Yet we often throw 100% at our partner.

We make them wholly responsible for what is only a fraction (if any) of their fault.

This retrograde will ask us to do the work of integrating our projections, facing our own demons, and being accountable for the mindsets and beliefs behind the reactions. (For more on that listen to Projection and Integration).

Scorpio requires we do the hard work, meaning the volume will increase on our dysfunction until we choose to actually hear it.

Assuring us it may not be easy, but it is worth it.

So, see this time as an opportunity to assess how you are in your relationships. Just look at what is showing up around you. The old spells and hurts that reappear, the reactions that reenact, the ways you habitually give or take power, all need to be excavated and evaluated.

Because they aren’t working. In fact, they are keeping you from the very thing you truly want.

Real connection.

Sometimes this means we will have to make hard choices and leave relationships.

Sometimes we have to commit to staying in ones that challenge us.

Sometimes we need to step up.

Sometimes we need to step down.

Sometimes we need to take charge.

Sometimes we need to feel.

Either way the “work” is consciously doing something different than you have previously done.

Libra represents the scales after all. Something wants to become more balanced in your life. Often we must do this by adding weight to the lighter side as we also subtract from the heavier. It is being soft when you are habitually calloused, and tough when you are traditionally delicate. It is being receptive when you are typically convinced, and assertive when you are normally undecided.

It is the equilibrium of yin and yang. The harmony of masculine and feminine.

Because love takes many shades regardless of the Disney bias we have assigned it. Love is soft, nurturing and a soft place to fall as often as it is fierce, fiery and a force to be reckoned with.

Much like the power of the divine feminine itself.

Whatever is arising is an opportunity, not an endpoint. It is a beginning, not an ending. It is a chance to heal and become more whole.

Use it.

***Venus is going retrograde in the sign of Scorpio for the next few weeks (October 6th, 2018 at 10º Scorpio – November 16th at 25º Libra to be exact).