Cancer New Moon 7/20 Heroes and Villains

The tension is thick out there. Sides taken. Lines drawn in the sand. Typically, we can find a sense of harmony despite the divisiveness. Not now. That is not the energy of the times or the flavor of change required. And that’s not necessarily a “bad” thing. Some times call for firm boundaries- the healing found in standing up.

This is the second New Moon in a row we’ve had in Cancer. The last one was a solar eclipse at 0° Cancer on June 21st. The previous Full Moon Lunar Eclipse also had strong Cancerian themes, as did the entire last year. And here we find ourselves at this New Moon again in Cancer. Again. Obviously, the Cancer/ Capricorns axis are required themes.

Cancer is our inner gift of feeling. Our emotional intelligence is a vital, necessary, and wise part of our compass. One that is needed now more than ever. Feelings offer us something logic cannot, answering questions that are unanswerable by our more linear side. Things like love, passion, purpose, integrity, healing, intuition, and the more divine senses are all housed in our right brain centers. No doubt, feelings are being stirred in a significant way right now. I don’t need to tell you that. Take a look at any social media platform, go grocery shopping where masks are required, go to a city council meeting, and you will likely witness a plethora of unmitigated expressions of feelings.

This is the thing though, while feelings are always valid, always relevant, and always require honoring, they are not always accurate in any present situation. Why? They are often rooted in much deeper layers etched in the most primal parts of our brain that only operate from past reactions, not present cognition. Unmonitored, our most intense feelings often summon spontaneous, powerful, almost unstoppable reactions. They lead us back to times in our lives where we felt most abandoned, betrayed, and shamed, where our scabs have only just covered the wound. When we get any present nick that animates even a part of that past injury, the scar is removed, unleashing our panicked self to defend, attack, run, fawn, or cower. We shapeshift back into our most bruised parts, at whatever age that hurt occurred. We become flooded, inundated with reaction- the lizard part of our brain in full control. It is intense, and it feels entirely real.

And it is real. Just maybe not accurate to now.

While there are many feelings arising of late, one seems to be most profound currently. Astrology points to that validity as well.

What is that feeling? Anger.

We seemed to have reached the anger phase of this feeling cycle.

Mars moved into Aries June 29th, where it will stay for six months (until January 2021). Typically Mars stays in each sign about six weeks, so this point is especially poignant. Clearly, we are being given time to sort this out. Mars will dance with Eris, also in Aries, and (widely) square the Capricorn stellium and this New Moon. It will also go retrograde in September.

Welcome Anger.

Anger is likely one of the most shamed and misunderstood emotions we have. Maybe it’s because many of us witness only the shadow side of this force and internalize avoidance due to this fear or mimic that same dysfunction. Maybe we were not allowed anger, and perhaps shamed for it even. Maybe we have been told anger is “unspiritual” or on some lower hierarchy of frequency. This would be a good time to check in with your own history regarding anger and what you were taught or internalized regarding this needed force.

There are many names for anger:
Annoyance, frustration, peeved, irritated, cranky, bored, critical, or cranky are what I like to call anger “light”. Turning up the volume, we get livid, outraged, furious, appalled, vindictive, irate, menacing, or seething.

In truth, there is nothing inherently wrong or unspiritual about anger. In fact, it holds immense wisdom. How we express it and which part is in charge of our anger, though, IS critical in determining if it is a clear expression or filtered through our reactive fear.

The feeling is never the problem. How we express that feeling can be.

And anger is an emotion of action. It is one where we are motivated, energized, and passionate. Anger gets stuff DONE. It is the force inside that protects, initiates, risks, and inspires. In this way, it is the seat of our unique expression of self, the fire of who we are, and power that carves out our space in the world. Thus, it is the force of boundaries, security, self-love, and authenticity. The gift of conflict tells us what we care about, what we must stand up for, and our purpose in this world. It is the blaze of our grit, passion, and assertion. It is our force of courage. Responding with clear anger makes us the hero of our unique story.

This force, though, unexamined and reactive, can also be a villain.

When channeled through our past pain, any force becomes marred, so it no longer shines as clearly. Instead of the power of creation and inspiration, it becomes a fire of destruction, burning whatever is in its path. It can be loud and obnoxious, hostile, belligerent, arrogant, and indignantly aggressive or violent. It can also be more covertly searing, sarcastic, condemning, cold, bitterly patronizing, and full of contempt. It can char in brutal ways. Thus we often try and hurl it outside of us, lest we ourselves go up in flames. This projection often comes in the form of blame, shame, condemnation, violence, and aggression, both passive and overt. We mudsling. Name call. Shut down. Demand. Throw things. Tantrum. Speak in circles. Yell. Scream. Ice out the world.

Sometimes, especially if we have felt the sting of anger, we don’t know where to place the ferocity. We don’t want to hurt anyone else, so we hold it inside of us, the flame scorching our insides, causing inflammation both physically and psychologically.

One of the most profound things we can do in our lives is to learn the wisdom of our rage. We can learn to honor the light of our illumination.

One of my favorite styles of coaching is in the realm of relationships. It is also one of the most challenging. Why? Because anger is the everyday terrain. To hold space for anyone else requires you to get comfortable in the topography. The first step to that is to recognize there is nothing “wrong” with any feeling, including anger. The second is to learn to pause (even and especially when we don’t want to).

Nothing good happens when two reactive people are communicating. NOTHING.

Time outs offer us a break between stimulus and response, where we can CHOOSE to respond and not react. They are also meant to bring us face to face with what exactly needs healing in our lives. And this skill is not just helpful to relationships with others but also vital in our relationships with ourselves.

Welcome to the national time out. The great pause is still very real.

In truth, we do our work, or our work does us. Nothing about this time is going away by spin, distraction, or denial. (Not with Saturn, Jupiter, and Pluto in full opposition to this Moon and still retrograde.) Outer and inner, we are going to have to face the gremlins, or they will find us. There is no escaping the reality checks that are being cashed. And reality is a challenging taskmaster at times. Our fears, stories, insecurities are RISING consciously and unconsciously.

Good. Stop.

Take the time to learn what this time is teaching. Lean into any frustration or annoyance. Summon your fire. Let it free you from the past and lead you to inspired clarity in the present.

Honor and express the emotional intelligence and maturity it takes to name our feelings, going inward before we go outward. We need to heal our anger by growing up this part of us. Resist the shapeshifting and reaction. The justification. The blaming. The lashing out. The ways we control to feel safer. And we also need to own it when we don’t get it right. To make amends. To be accountable. To strive to do it better next time.

Because reaction simply reenacts. No change can happen there.

And we are in a profound time of change.

We all have the hero and the villain within us. Each moment an opportunity to choose which one we want to be.