This was meant to be a different blog. In fact, I had one completed, uploaded, and ready to send. Then the fires on Maui happened and a new one had to be written.
First off, I want to thank those that have reached with with offerings of support and aloha. I truly appreciate it. As most of you know, though I currently live on the mainland, Hawaii is my home. I was born on Oahu and raised on Maui. I spent the majority of my life in the towns of Kihei, Kula, and Lahaina. Lahaina was where my diving career started, and my second family was formed (you know who you all are). I went to school there. I met my husband there and most of my lifelong friends. My sons were born there. Much of my Ohana (family) still lives there. In truth, though I have most recently left the island, it never really leaves you. A piece of your heart stays. Hawaii is like that.
Thankfully, my immediate family are okay. My mom and step-dad live in Kihei, and while the fire got close, they never had to evacuate. My sister and her family live in Lahaina (the town hardest hit). My sister escaped with her boys and sister-in-law to a shelter up north, but my brother-in-law was caught in the firestorm and has a harrowing story of survival. He was forced to jump into the water to escape the flames where he stayed dodging flames and thick smoke for 9 hours. His story was one of many featured on the news.
Unfortunately, my sister and her husband lost their entire catering company, Island Catering, including kitchen, warehouses of equipment, vans, and real estate. Since many of their accounts were local tour boats, that business is gone too. And their story is just one of so many. This fire has touched thousands of lives and livelihoods They, like so many, are trying to figure out the next steps. In true Fuentes fashion, they are concentrating on helping the community as best they can.
While there is so much gratitude, there is also incredible heartbreak. There are so many missing. As the days go by, we are getting confirmation of friends that didn’t make it out. This will be a long road moving forward.
Maui will never be the same.
Grief is like that. In our lives, it is that space of delineation between what was and whatever is next. It is that often sudden change between life as we knew it to life as we could never have imagined. Grief is the initiation into a new reality without our permission. It is a whole-body ache- psychologically, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Though there are stages in grief, in my experience, they are not linear but simultaneous, the waves changing from moment to moment. The fogginess, the feelings of shock, the way time feels off, the deep sadness and heartache, the anxiety and fear, the anger, the confusion- all of it is part of the alchemy between the points of what was and what is.
There is no rushing through the process. There is no need to be further along. For each of us, our process of healing is unique and individual. So, let us make space for it all.
Two truths I know about grief.
The only way out is through. ( We cannot go back.)
There is life on the other side. (I promise.)
Like all healing, it is an organic process unique to all of us. Because grief tears us apart and puts us back together. It is both disorientingly fragile yet inexplicably sturdy. It is the paradox of realness that sharpens our gaze like nothing else. Because while turbulent, grief is also curious. Curious because somewhere amidst the dark waters there is a light of grace.
Awe researcher, Dacher Keltner was inspired to study this phenomenon based on his journey witnessing the death of his brother from cancer. In his book, Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life, he describes, “Watching Rolf pass, I felt small. Quiet. Humble. Pure. The boundaries that separated me from the outside world faded. I felt surrounded by something vast and warm. My mind was open, curious, aware, wondering.”
That is grief too.
Which brings me to Leo. The most heart-centered of all the signs and our guiding light at this New Moon. If there is a place or a people that can teach us about love (aloha) and the grace of awe, it is Hawaii. The “Aloha Spirit” embodies the essence of the Hawaiian way of life, encompassing the values of compassion, harmony, unity, and mutual respect. It goes beyond just the surface meaning of the word “aloha” and represents a deeper understanding and application of the underlying principles. It isn’t just a concept; it’s a way of living. It’s about fostering a sense of community, embracing diversity, and promoting a harmonious and balanced existence even at times of heartbreaking injustice or adversity. Ask the Hawaiian people about adversity and injustice. As an indigenous people, they have lived it. Yet, aloha still shines on. Let us learn from them and this.
Because we need open hearts in our most trying times. It unifies us, it inspires us, and it grows us – if we let it. It is how we find the light in the darkness. And we need more of that. We need more love, more compassion, more cooperation, and more moments where we are shown what is truly important and what isn’t. So, when we do rebuild we do so from a place with values grounded in the graces of aloha- humility, gratitude, and togetherness.
“Hawaii is not a destination; it’s a feeling of belonging, a sense of coming home.” – Unknown
Many of you have asked how you can help. If you want to help my sister and Island Catering directly you can venmo me (@aleka-thorvalson) or paypal (alekasky@gmail.com). Any donations will go 100% to her.
Updated to include their direct go fund me link here.
Other ways to help.
~This New Moon occurs at 23° Leo.
~If you could use some help figuring out what the current astrology means for you, or would like some coaching around the concepts mentioned, Contact Me.
~Photo 66748735 © Edytamlaw | Dreamstime.com