One of the most vital life skills is the ability to communicate well. It is also one of the most challenging to master.
Why?
Because we are multifaceted beings often driven by habitual reactivity. The mind is naturally full of multiplicity. Whether we call them parts, archetypes, or complexes, we have distinct forces within us. There is nothing wrong with these parts, of course. They each have a story to tell. Many are protectors hiding the most vulnerable layers. Many are burdened needing to grow up faster than healthy, finding ways to survive in difficult situations. The problem is not they are there, just they are overemphasized, reactive, and frozen at the maturity level of their inception. They see the world through the eyes of the past, not the present. Often communication is challenging because these wounded parts run the show reacting over and over again. And reaction creates more re-enaction.
The skill of good communication is the ability to pause reactivity and respond from our most grounded and best self.
Because that SELF part is an innate facet of us too. Its authenticity, courage, and identity often gets thwarted by the need for acceptance and validation, though. It is the part of us that “knows.” The self is that centered, calm, curious, confident, compassionate, and connected part of us. It is assertive but not aggressive. It is clear but not manipulative. It is firm but not enraged. It doesn’t need to get to enoughness. It is the part that knows it is enough and simply wants to express it.
In archetypal astrological terms, we might label that part Aries. Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, and done well it represents our most innate self. And we NEED some of that innate SELFness right now. The last few weeks (years?) have been a practice in communication, inner and outer. How we communicate, the words, tone, and delivery reveal precisely who we are because it shows which part of us is in charge. Because words matter. How we say those words matter. How we listen matters. From social media to traditional media, to our relationships with others and ourselves, we have been asked to assess how it is going. The freedom to speak is beautiful when channeled through our better angels and woefully destructive when it isn’t.
What have we learned? What is being revealed within us? What can we do better? What truths can no longer be ignored? That is the reassessment we have been living. We have been neck-deep in retrograde energy with seven planets in that “backward” motion. Finally, Pluto is direct on the 6th, Saturn goes direct on the 11th, and Mercury and Jupiter station direct on the 18th. There are (finally!) some opportunities for forward motion. The goal, of course, is to channel everything we have learned forward into a sense of inspired and right action.
Aries times do represent powerful beginnings. That is likely true here as well. But to move forward, we must acknowledge where we are standing. We must discern between the old and the new. We must let go to start again. In our inner and outer lives, we must align with parts, people, and causes that are most wise and accurate. We must let go of wounded reactions like aggression, riotous rage, and bullying behavior to allow the better angels of assertion, inspiration, drive, and the right use of anger to spur us to empowered action. That is true courage and the spark of divine authenticity. It is what real leadership looks like, in our inner and outer worlds.
So, before you speak, before you decide to act, before you come to a conclusion, ask yourself, “which part of me is in charge?”. That answer determines not only the terrain you will walk but the final destination.
“Words matter. Words shape worldviews. Words provoke action and reaction, which in turn provoke more words. Getting the words right is critically important. Getting the action right is also critically important. And aligning the words and actions is even more important.”
― Helio Fred Garcia
Want to better understand what this time is revealing in you? Contact me for a reading.
*Photo by Riccardo Annandale on Unsplash