We are a nation of differing opinions. Our very national ethos is steeped in  freedom of speech and expression. This point has been made abundantly clear the last month. If there is one thing for sure, before, during and after the election, opinions have been plentiful, lines have been drawn in the sand and sides have been taken.  Opinions have been flowing freely through social media, off the tongues of newscasters, echoing through friends, families and among nations. Dueling opinions are not necessarily a negative thing, for contrast is at the core of growth, expansion and evolution. When opinions fall into judgement however, there is a more sinister expression, which leads to separation, estrangement and dismantling.

In truth, there is an important distinction between judgement and discernment.

Yet, often that distinction is a bit ambiguous and confusing. We are conditioned to “be nice”, “agreeable”, and “not to judge”. We are told to be accepting of all and to not “rock the boat”. Additionally, rejection of any type can create fear within us that keeps us hustling and editing our own truth. Unfortunately, in our desire to be peaceful and easy going we may have traded in our authenticity.

What is the difference between judgement and discernment?

Discernment is an inner knowing sourced in genuine truth, while judgment is sourced in fear. Discernment is a spark of intuitive knowing, an inner voice of principle and certainly that aligns us with our path, purpose, and inspiration. Judgement is about control and uses fear and manipulation as a means to gain it.  

Discernment shares power. It allows your opinions to be valuable even if we disagree.  Judgement attempts to covet power. It uses black or white thinking, words like “always”, “never” and “everyone” to create an air of expertise without fact checking. Discernment says,  “I am the expert on what works for me” and judgement says “I am the expert of everything”.

Discernment constructs, while Judgement deconstructs. Discernment uses truth to inspire truth. It offers wisdom in discord allowing both sides to understand and thus grow. Judgement tears down systems because it is based  in being right, and thus needs to make another wrong.  

Discernment is sourced in assertion, accountability and honesty while judgement is sourced in aggression, blame, shame, prejudice, racism,  and stereotyping. One takes ownership while the other passes it off by projecting any shadow qualities.

Discernment is responsive while judgement is reactive. Reactive thinking, based in fear, recreates the past over and over again while responsive thinking opens the door to new possibilities.   Discernment is an openly skeptical while judgement is locked in cynicism.

Having a discerning opinion is like walking into a room and not liking the décor. Perhaps you point out that it is just not your taste. Walking into the same room with judgement means you ridicule, shame or put down the owner for not having proficient decorating skills.

 Living our lives without discernment is like sailing a boat without a rutter. We’ll get somewhere it just may not be where we actually want to go. Sure, we may blow around the vast ocean bumping into things, but we will waste a lot of time getting there. Judgement on the other hand closes our word so we can only move in one direction, even if that direction leads us to unhealthy and dysfunctional places.

To live our very best live and be our very best selves we must embrace the difference. No time is it more important to have solid boundaries, grounded in our authentic values and ideals, and stand up for them.