To rephrase a famous quote by Ram Das “If you think you’re enlightened, get into a relationship”. Relationships are powerful vehicles of support, connection, and freedom and they can also bring forth our greatest hurts and disappointments. In our fairy tale culture, we are conditioned to see relationships through a fantastical Disney movie lens as we wait for our prince or princess to magically appear so we can finally live happily ever after. (Top 10 Relationship Myths). The realities of relationships though, prove happily ever after doesn’t exist. And that is okay because relationships are not meant to save us but to help us learn to save ourselves. They are meant to offer soul work.
Not the kind of work where we externally focus on the other person, shaping and molding them to comfortably curtail their actions to avoid pissing us off, but the kind of work where we look squarely at ourselves.
Intimacy.
INTO ME I SEE.
The yin and yang, the shadow and light, our hurt and our solace, our fear and our joy- relationships are the shortcut to our most in-depth learning.
This New Moon is in Libra, the sign of relationships. Essentially, Libra is the journey of finding this healthy interconnection with others by first finding healing connection with ourselves. Libra, symbolized by the scales, is about finding balance and a sense of peace. But in accordance with the deep transformative themes this year (the recent ingress of Jupiter in Scorpio!), we might have to sludge through some of our own mud first. We have Uranus, the planet of fierce individuation and authenticity, and Eris, the Goddess of Discord, opposing the New Moon in Libra, meaning we will be called to use the gift of conflict to lead us straight to what needs healing within ourselves.
Sounds like an oxymoron I know. Conflict leading to connection? Yep.
You see in relationships we often strive for peace and connection through habits that aren’t so healthy. These habits start young. Because connection is as vital to our psyche as air, we learn to mitigate our authenticity, truth, and very being, in exchange for acceptance.
When asked the question…Who am I?
We learn to answer….Who do you want me to be?
We tend to focus on a reflected rather than a grounded sense of self, looking outside ourselves for definition. The other side of the coin, of course, is where we wall up, steadfast and fiercely independent relying on no one. We stay safe any way we can.
Adding to the mix, we often get unhealthy examples of conflict with outcomes rooted in abandonment, shame or betrayal creating unhealthy coping strategies like outright avoidance, aggression, blame or defense. All of this can create powerful patterns of co and counter-dependency where we either control other people or ourselves to avoid conflict.
But conflict itself is not a “bad” thing. Conflict by its very nature is part of healthy growth. When done well it can actually create MORE connection and intimacy because it reveals exactly where and what is hurting within us. (For more, check out The Gift of Conflict).
Conflict creates the juice to grow and the heat of challenge that galvanizes relationships.
So, we have an innate need to find peace and connection, and we have Uranus and Eris shaking up our reality with opportunities to remove the blocks and claim this force in our lives. What is important to note is we do not just have relationships with people but with everything in our lives- our work, money, health, creativity, and vision. Where this New Moon is located in your chart will offer the type of relationship you are meant to closely examine and how to use the gift of conflict to unlock potential.
Where is the conflict by house:
If the New Moon is in the First House your soul work resides in your relationship with yourself.
- Specifically, how you assert your individuation and authenticity.
Where do you sell your authenticity for connection?
If the New Moon is in the Second House your soul work resides in your relationship with security.
- Specifically, how you navigate the world of money, resources and a sense of worth.
What is your relationship with money or stuff (abundance and lack) as an energy in your life?
If the New Moon is in the Third House your soul work resides in your relationship with communication.
- Specifically, how openly and readily you give and receive information.
Where and how do you edit your voice?
If the New Moon is in the Fourth House your soul work resides in your relationship with feelings.
- Specifically, how you dance with the hidden, inner places like family connection and your past.
What wisdom is your emotional wisdom offering and can you let it flow?
If the New Moon is in the Fifth House your soul work resides in your relationship with joy.
- Specifically, how you play, embrace creativity, spontaneity, and flow.
How and when do you play?
If the New Moon is in the Sixth House your soul work resides in your relationship with your health.
- Specifically, how you use your physical energy to serve and decide what is and isn’t your responsibility.
What does your health tell you about how you use your energy?
If the New Moon is in the Seventh House your soul work resides in your relationship with friends.
- Specifically, how you network, make friends and socially operate in the world.
What do your friendships reveal about you?
If the New Moon is in the Eighth House your soul work resides in your relationship with intimate partners.
- Specifically, the deeper layers of projection, vulnerability, and intimacy.
What are your projections offering you about your shadow truth?
If the New Moon is in the Ninth House your soul work resides in your relationship with your beliefs.
- Specifically, your beliefs about yourself and the world around you including your capacity for faith and trust.
What does your world reveal about your beliefs and practice of faith, joy and optimism?
If the New Moon is in the Tenth House your soul work resides in your relationship with work.
- Specifically, what work you are called to do and how you best do it.
What is your calling and are you in integrity with it?
If the New Moon is in the Eleventh House your soul work resides in your relationship with authenticity.
- Specifically, your relationship with truth-saying, individuation and rebellion.
Where must you risk rejection to claim authenticity?
If the New Moon is in the Twelfth House your soul work resides in your relationship with spirit.
- Specifically, how you connect to the divine and navigate the unseen realms.
What needs release so you can move forward?
**If you’d like to know the location of the Moon in your chart (26 degrees Libra) there are many free sites online where you can get your birth chart. Of course, you are always welcome to contact me for a reading to find out how the current energies are playing out in your personal chart.
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