Anger gets a bad rap. It is often deemed one of those unwanted, unsavory or ugly emotions. Gender seems to play a part in this as our collective culture teaches it is more acceptable for a man to show anger in obvious ways, while angry women tend to be typecast as “bitchy”. Of course, this cultural bias does no favors for men either. While the prevailing theme of anger is accepted, other so-called “weaker” emotions, like fear or sadness, are shamed. This creates a confusing cacophony where buried feelings are channeled through the most “acceptable” one. Meaning, of course, men are typically “angry” no matter what they are feeling, and women are often taught not to be mad at all.
Is it any wonder we have a convoluted, confused, fearful and downright dysfunctional relationship with this innate and powerful inner force?
Let’s be clear on one thing. There is nothing wrong with anger. Nothing. It is not less spiritual, less enlightened or more psychologically advanced to be devoid of anger. Anger, like all emotions, is there to offer us essential wisdom and the necessary energy to act on that knowledge. It is not anger itself that is an issue. It is what we DO with that anger that determines if it is a force of creation or destruction.
The Gifts of Anger:
One of the principal gifts of anger is CLARITY. Anger can offer a laser-guided moment of focused clear sight. All of a sudden, we know this job, this person or this situation is completely wrong (or right) for us. Anger allows us to see through the shadow of spiritual or political bypassing and embrace universal truth and common sense regarding what is humane, right and just.
This brings us to another gift of anger. BOUNDARIES.
Once we have the clarity, we then have the freedom, permission, and ability to stand in our truth and take up space. Anger is a signal from our inner warrior we are leaking power, someone is crossing a critical boundary, violating our very being, or our safety or integrity is being called into question. Anger offers us the choice point and guided energy to stand up for our truth.
Which leads us straight to PURPOSE.
Anger wakes us up to something more. It is the inner fire of authenticity we are asked to share with the world. When I see clients confused about their purpose in life, I go straight to their relationship with anger. What lights you up? What makes you want to engage with the force of change? What is blocking your rage? Think about people in history that have been instrumental and inspirational to real change. Rosa Parks, Susan B. Anthony, Martin Luther King…you know what they had in common? They were seriously pissed and dared to take rightful action even in the face of significant opposition.
Which leads to another gift of anger. It is the key to UNLOCKING LOVE.
The high destiny of anger is the courage to assert, to take action, to decide, to protect, to claim our space, and to define who we are by taking a stand against who we are not. By saying no to something, we say yes to ourselves.We acknowledge our wrongs and we make those wrongs as right as we can by living our amends.
New Moons and Full Moon always work together. New Moons set the stage, and Full Moons define the action. This last New Moon in Virgo very likely stirred up some life lessons that now require you take a stand in some way. Perhaps, you too are muttering the words
“Not this again?”
This Full Moon in the sign of Aries asks you to harness the power of anger within you to courageously take a stand with other people and most importantly with yourself. Yet, there are some heavy hitters coming to the table. This Full Moon squares Pluto and Mercury opposes it. Also, Jupiter in Libra makes its exact final opposition with Uranus in Aries. That means you can be sure some shadow is emerging as well. Just look around at the current political and cultural climate to observe what shadow anger looks like.
Shadow anger ceases to be a force of creation but of destruction. Anger channeled through fear or shame often comes out as aggression. Aggressive anger, whether it be outright violence or its more passive cousin, is about control and manipulation, not growth or understanding. Perhaps our claws come out, or our walls go up. Maybe we fall into the bully, tyrant, or dictator. Maybe we close up with defensiveness and keep the whole world out. Maybe we are stubborn, selfish, arrogant or bypass it all together with some colorful spiritual platitudes. Maybe we internalize our anger and feel the physical effects of stuck anger like inflammation, pain, digestive or heart problems. Alternatively, we might feel, drained, run down, purposeless, and exhausted, our fire extinguished.
Either way, we can be sure to encounter situations that ask us to get up close and personal with our relationship with anger (shadow work included). This, of course, offers us the way in to find our way out. Anytime we are dealing with shadow stuff we must look back to go forward.
What early messages and experiences did you have with anger?
What did you witness?
What were you taught?
Did you get clear examples of assertion, or did you experience the polarity of outright aggressive violence or passive aggression manipulation?
What happened when you asserted yourself?
Deep stuff, I know.
What does all that say about your relationship with anger now?
What happens when you are angry with someone or something?
How okay is it if someone is angry with you?
Where do you know you need to set boundaries right now? What blocks you from doing so?
Unless we consciously change our responses, we tend to react the same way. This Full Moon offers significant choice points for you to reclaim and reignite your fire. It provides opportunities to choose assertion and not fall into aggression. And assertion isn’t easy because it means we risk rejection. It means we must learn to state our truth from a grounded sense of self and let go of the other persons need to like it. It is about leaning into the uncomfortable but illuminating space of conscious conflict which requires understanding, patience, accountability and the diligence to listen.
Some cycles are about letting go and allowing. This cycle is not that. It is about action. We are being asked to move in some way. To step out of our comfort zone. To Take a stand. This is why anger and courage go hand in hand. Cycles offer a challenge but also the gifts to move through them. Courage, tenacity, clarity, strength, resiliency, stamina, energy, and gut instinct are available. So use them to seek your anger. Lean into it and not away.
It does no good to sit idle in the face of injustice. Our anger is meant to move us to action. Certainly we need to address the bigger issues we are all apart of. Anger fuels change after all. And we can start by looking squarely at our own relationship with the fire in our lives and where we have extinguished our flame, where we silence our voice, where we run from rising and where we teach our children to do the same.
Aries is the first sign of the zodiac symbolizing a time of rebirth. Anger allows that gift too. When we welcome our anger we reignite a small and forgotten ember. And with the heat of authenticity, we fuel the flame until we become phoenixes rising from the ashes of an outdated legend that wasn’t even ours in the first place. It is then, in our rising, we pass the flame inspiring others to do the same.
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