We commonly accept that to live a self-actualized life we need to do conscious work on our upsets, our pain, our limiting patterns and beliefs. Yet, did you know, to really live a whole and purposeful life we need to do as much work on our joy as we do on our pain? It’s true.

You see, physiologically, psychologically and even spiritually we are wired to seek a sense of balance, familiarity and equilibrium. Our physical body is a brilliant machine that, without our conscious control, monitors the beautiful dance of the chemical and physical processes of life. We do not need to remind our hearts to beat or our cuts to heal. Psychologically, if there is upset to the system, we have ingrained patterns to get ourselves back on track.

 Now, homeostasis equates to safety, which is a wonderful thing; yet, it does not lead to growth.  To grow and change we must consciously expand the limits of our comfort zone, which is in direct conflict with the parts of us that want to keep us safe.  Anything beyond the established parameters of the comfort zone is a challenge to the status quo. Thus, any disequilibrium, even if positive in nature, often precipitates a habitual response to get us back to a balanced state as quickly as possible. This is the root of much of our self-sabotaging behavior, and why we find ourselves stuck in familiar patterns of dysfunction. It is also the reason the vast majority of lottery winners lose their money within the first two years of winning it. Without doing conscious work to expand our limits of what is possible, we will continue to experience familiar patterns. It is important to remember there is nothing vindictive or vengeful about this process. Our psyche is doing what it has been conditioned to do; keep us safe. 

But to really embrace change, to expand our level of equilibrium to include new and more expansive limits, we need to do conscious work on our joy. We need to do as much work on our joy as we do our pain.

How do we do that? I have created the following process as a tool to expand the limits of joy.

H.E.A.L

H- Have positive experiences.

This is a prescription for fun! Working with expanding our limits of joy means welcoming it, creating it, allowing it and acknowledging it.  The first step to begin to create more joy in your life is to simply find more opportunities to experience it.

E –Expand your field of joy.

 This step encourages you to consciously expand awareness of joy by diving right into the middle of it. Trace the edges of joy; ask where in your body you feel it, if it has a quality, a color or a texture. As we bring in curiosity we allow the experience of joy to become real. Observe any resistance that emerges. Fear, often cloaked as the inner critic*, is just a reminder you are getting to the confines of your comfort zone and opening the door to self-sabotage. So, just observe any limiting thought patterns, feelings of vulnerability or fear, or any habitual responses that may arise.  Locating the blocks to joy is the first step to releasing them.

• Affirm the truth.

Allow the sensation of joy and any resistance to reach its peak, and then tell the truth about it. Affirm your right to worthiness and your divine right to experience joy and abundance, and challenge any limiting beliefs telling you otherwise. This step allows you to claim your power from the past, and feel it surge into present time; expanding the imposed limits of your comfort zone. Visualization works well here, as you can visualize the field of energy around you growing wider and any limitations being undone and swept away.

L- Love it with gratitude.

Gratitude is the antidote to the vulnerability and subsequent self-sabotage of joy, because when you really love something you hold it close: use it as a mirror for your own worthiness and appreciate it. Gratitude helps anchor the new awareness and expansion in the psyche. When you love something, you want to include it, and you welcome change to take place.

Want to hear more about the Inner Critic and how to best work with it? Check out Aleka’s podcast on the matter at the The Holistic Health Hour .